Although the title makes it sound like a scene from a sexy porno movie, the fact remains that there are constantly women in the men’s locker room at my gym! On at least 10 different occasions I’ve seen the cleaning women in the men’s locker room. Doesn’t this strike anyone else as being odd? Or maybe it’s simply explained by the phrase, “This is Spain.”
The first time, I was standing at the locker room urinal doing my bid’ness when I heard rustling behind me at the always-locked supply closet. I turned my head to see a short, middle-aged woman wearing what looked like loose-fitting hospital scrubs. Quickly, I turned my head back, eyes front, hands steady at the wheel…. Suddenly, I was nervous, shifting slightly my orientation in the opposite direction to further block any potential gaze until she left with her bags, bottles and such. “Whew. That was a close call. What’s she doing in here?!”
Another time I was arriving at the gym and entered the locker room. No sooner had I turned the corner when I was passed by another woman, same hospital-looking garb, wearing yellow rubber gloves and carrying cleaning supplies. She was on her way out. But as soon as I passed her at least 2 naked men were entering the showers, crossing the same path which she had just walked.
On a different day, I was getting dressed and facing my open locker door, sinching up my shorts when another cleaning lady, this one much younger, passed through the entire length of the locker room. No one flinched, No one grabbed a towel. No one said a word. AND THESE WERE SPANISH MEN!!!
The above accounts happened at my current gym, where I’ve been going for about 1.5 years. At my previous gym, at the “Piscina Miami”, the same kinds of things happened until the closed for some building violation. The building, which was a combination-use gym and swimming pool, and has since been demolished.
Even at that previous gym there were always women in the men’s locker room, casually mopping the floors and cleaning the toilets every morning at 9am, shortly after they opened. And there I was in all my morning glory getting dressed. Actually, my “glory” was nothing more than me in a sweat suit because I always arrived fully dressed and ready to peel-off the sweats and get bizzy. But many other guys at that gym were struttin’ their stuff when walking from their lockers to the showers after a workout.
At first I thought it must be difficult working in such an environment, seeing all these naked, sometimes muscular men in the same place where you work. Or maybe, like male gynecologists, when you see this kind of thing everyday you become totally desensitized to it all. And maybe the same goes for the guys in the locker room whom see these cleaning women in their daily midst. No big dillio.
I’ve YET to see any high-heal-wearing cleaning ladies with tight shorts, tight half-shirts, with large artificial breasts, winking at all the guys as she struts through the locker room like in the porno movies – not that I’d know anything about that. This is a family forum, afterall. Gyms are places for getting “fit“, not for getting “it“.
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It must be a European thing (sans UK), it was the same way in Germany, your busy relieving your full bladder at an Autobahn rest stop when the lady comes through and busily mops between your feet!
Spend a few years in Europe and you quickly learn to roll your eyes at how prudish the Americans are!!!
I am an American and proud to be a prude
Yes, Americns are pruse now, they were not so, 40 years ago, my fther told me how it was…In Soth America we me are not prude at all:nakes in showers and lockers:no big deal!
with women in the locker room while the men are taking showers?
I’ve had the same experience in Spain, not only at gyms but also at swimming pools. By the way, it’s happened to me in South America too. Hispanic cleaning women seem to be OK with going into mens locker rooms whether its Spain or South America.
In Spain, mostly it was middle aged women who did the cleaning. I haven’t seen any “cleaning ladies with tight shorts, tight half-shirts, with large artificial breasts” but I have run into 2 young ladies in the locker room at a swimming pool I frequented. One was about 18 and the other was early 20’s whose job it was to keep the mens locker room clean. They would from time to time even go into the area in front of the mens shower.
The 18 year old was very friendly and she would say hi and sometimes even stop to talk to me even if I was completely naked since it gave her an excuse to take a break from her work. (I always went during the least busy times, so it was usually just me and her in there. Not sure how she would have reacted if there was a whole bunch of naked guys in there.)
I never got the sense that she was getting aroused by seeing me naked. For her seeing penises was probably just part of her job, although she never also never tried to avoid seeing me naked or turn her eyes away and anything like that.
She wasn’t gorgeous but she was above average in looks and had a nice body and so on a few occasions I ended up getting “happy” in front of her. The first time I was very embarassed and apologized but she assured me that it wasn’t a big deal and she wasn’t offended. The second time it happened I apoligized again and she said not to worry, that it was natural and that I wasn’t the first erection she has seen. (Not sure if she meant she had seen erections in the locker room specifically or in her life in general.) After that, if I got hard I didn’t worry about her being offended which was a relief although she would make comments and giggle when it happened.
I also lived with 2 different families in Spain. One was a mom and her 15 year old daughter, and the other was a mom with 2 daughters and a son, all in their teens. In both families the moms would walk in on me naked in the bathroom while I was showering to get something and they thought that was perfectly normal. I eventually got used to it.
In the first family, the 15 year old girl walked in on me once and was very embarassed about seeing me naked. So not all Spanish females are OK with it. But in the second family, one of the daughters (sometimes the 19 year old and other days the 16 year old) would bring me juice in the morning into my bedroom. They never knocked, just walked right in. Several times they caught me when I was naked. They would just smile and make some small talk and ask me how I slept etc. just like they would when I was clothed.
The 19 year old was especially talkative and seemed very comfortable with my nudity. She never said sorry or turned her head and she wasn’t shy about looking. I know the girls also walked in on their 14 year old brother naked frequently, so I guess in their family it was normal for the 2 girls to see their brother naked, and they lumped me into that category as well. (I was in my mid 20’s at the time I lived with them.)
S0 you certainly aren’t the only guy that’s had women in the locker room who didn’t mind seeing guys naked. I’ve gotten used to it by now.
Did you never walk in on them? Certainly worth a try. See if they were as “OK” with it when the tables were turned.
It would be very interesting to know if you ever walked in on any of the girls in the nude? If so how did they react?
It happened again, just yesterday. Just arrived at the gym, went straight to the restroom in the Men’s Locker Room, and there was the cleaning lady getting something from the supply closet facing the two toilet stalls. She looked up when I walked in, gave me a half-smile and I did the same, and turned my back to her to use the urinal. After I finished, checked myself, AND THEN turned around, she was gone. But I could see at least 2 guys changing their clothes in the locker area just outside of the bathroom. A common sight in the mens locker room, apparently.
I was a university student in Paris in the 80s. The bathrooms were mixed gender – my female classmates would walk by to the stalls as I was using the urinals, no big deal.
I am glad you told me that, I will never go to France!
Why does everyone here justify women’s invading men’s privacy by stating that the women aren’t offended, so therefore there is no problem. That’s not the issue. The issue is men, just like women, having the right to gender privacy when taking care of private business, e.g. using the toilet, changing or showering.
Who gives a [BLEEP!] how the female janitors feel or whether or not they are aroused? Their feelings are irrelevant. The privacy rights and feelings of men are what is important. And I do not believe that the women don’t get aroused.
The thing is, most men are too afraid to criticize women for anything for fear of being called misogynistic. They are too afraid of criticizing women for invading their privacy for fear of being called gay or people thinking they have a small [BLEEP!].
Jeff, I absolutely agree with you on every thing you stated. The issue is the right to privacy while you are doing your private business. Just because it goes on all over the world doesn’t make it right.
The issue is NOT how the women feel while in the presence of men in the men’s room. The issue is how the men feel and like you, I feel that my privacy is being invaded.
The answer is easy: in the US, janitors of the opposite gender put up signs outside the washroom stating the the washroom is closed for cleaning. they wait outside until all the men (or women in the case of a male janitor) are out and THEN go in to do their job.
I do NOT want female janitors in the men’s room while the men are doing their business. I also expect the same for male janitors in the women’s room.
proud to be a prude
I’m an American “prude” too, Donald.
Actually, the word “prude” comes from the French and means “respectable woman, proud”.
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/prude
I live in Asia, and here women janitors (I refuse to call them “cleaning ladies”) often in the men’s restrooms, with greater (Japan, Thailand) or less (Korea) frequency depending on the country, and in locker rooms depending on the country.
Is there really such a thing as a “men’s room” if women are allowed to enter anytime they want? Janitors, women who refuse to wait in line in the women’s room, etc. just march in whenever they want.
The urinals in “men’s” rooms in Korea are almost always lined up right in front of the doorway, which either has a see-through glass door, a door that is always left open, or no door. And you’re expected to piss while women, including your colleagues and students, march by.
In co-ed restrooms, the urinal is always right next to the sink with no divider. So you’re expected to piss in the open while a women stands next to you washing her hands.
Needless to say, I don’t use urinals anymore.
What makes no sense is that women have no problem waltzing into the “men’s” room and using a stall while men are using urinals and stalls and they have no problem using a stall in a co-ed restroom while men are using urinals and stalls. But if a man were to walk into the women’s room and use a stall while women were in there using the stall, they would have a hissy fit even though there is not difference in their level of privacy but there is a difference in the level of male privacy (urinal usage). The bottom line is women want to be in control, have their domain, and violate ours.
Jeff,
I have experienced the same thing in countries like Korea, but also in Germany and other European countries, as well as in Afghanistan (when I was on a Dutch base- all the restrooms were coed and female coworkers would strike up a conversation with you while you were using the urinal and they were washing their hands). I was a bit taken aback at first, but eventually got used to it, although I can totally understand your discomfort. That discomfort, after all, comes from the hyper-sexualized culture that is America today. I was curious about why in some other countries they are more nonchalant, especially when it comes to male nudity, and since I am an historian I approached it from that angle.
What I discovered is that, culturally, male nudity has often been seen as not being a big deal in most cultures and places throughout history, while female nudity has only rarely been considered socially acceptable, and then only in a minority of cultures. In our own western civilization, if we look back at a time before the industrial revolution we can see that the average family size was much larger, with 8-10 children being the average. Also most families lived in a single room. Due to the social structure, in which men and boys worked outside the home and women and girls generally stayed in and around the home and maintained it, this allowed a measure of privacy to women and girls. If they needed to bathe, they could do so when the men and boys were not around. When the males in the family needed to bathe, however, they would have to go to the nearest body of water (usually a river and often a public place) to bathe, or bathe in the home with the females right there in the room. Since male privacy was not practical in that situation it was not generally expected, although the reverse was not true. This is why there was a double standard. The reason it changed in Britain and the US was due to Queen Victoria, who, when she came to the throne, made some comments indicating she did not feel it was proper for gentlemen (by this she meant male aristocrats-not all men) to be naked in the presence of a lady (by this she meant an aristocratic woman, not all women in general). Since she was queen, the English aristocracy followed her lead in order to curry favor. At this time the Industrial Revolution was in full swing, and there was a rising middle class that, with its newfound wealth, began building larger houses while having smaller families, all while starting to emulate the aristocracy. A rising middle class in the United States also started to emulate the English cousins across the water. Lowering costs of clothing also made it easier to justify the expenditure of cloth for special swimming garments, which up until that time had been seen as an extravagance and unnecessary anyway, since up until that time male nudity had been an non-issue. Over time, this changing culture permeated English and American society, although it would not be until the 1960s and early 1970s that this growing Victorian subculture would become completely dominant throughout the United States.
While the Victorian culture caught on in the United States and many British possessions, there were a number of other countries that could have cared less about Victoria, and in those places the old culture still holds more sway, though in some countries this has lessened due to British and American influences around the world. I hope this sheds some light on the subject for you, and allows you to understand why those other cultures are the way they are.
Yes a very Puritanical North American response. My advice to you and those who believe as you. Never go abroad. Your type will not be comfortable at all.
I have seen cleaning women in the men’s locker room in China while the men were doing their business and wrote a note to the management stating that the cleaning women could only do their job of cleaning the men’s locker room WHEN they posted the yellow sign that said
“LOCKER ROOM CLOSED”
letting any men going into the locker room that something was amiss (the cleaning woman was doing her job). Very simple. I had to do this several times. The woman manager knew I was correct. Chinese men know enough that the cleaning woman should only be in the men’s locker room to clean when it is closed, but usually don’t have the courage to enforce it.
I am a male and i clean the womens athletic locker rooms at night at college. the girls don’t mind as long as i do my job I leave it looking really clean and looking good every day. they have seen me back there and said nothing. they’ll talk for a minute and leave but they don’t mind me cleaning back in there area. it’s only the couches. throwing a 5 year old attitude acting like little babies. I suggest all you guys out there to grow up. it goes on all over the world, girls clean men’s areas and men clean women’s areas. grow up. and besides it’s discrimination against gender so shut up and grow up.
Jay, I completely disagree with you. You should not be in the girls locker room while they are doing their business even if it is your job. You are invading their privacy and, unfortunately, I don’t think you are mature enough to understand it. The professional thing to do, and mature thing, is to put a sign outside the washroom saying “washroom closed” and waiting for all the girls to get out before you go in and do your job.
It is not discrimination for you to wait outside until all the girls leave BEFORE you go in to do your job.
In the Book “To Sir With Love”, the teacher (black person) came in the room one day while the girls AND boys were discussing something. When he discovered that they (girls AND boys) were discussing a used tampon that was hanging on the fireplace burning, he EXPLODED telling the girls that there were certain things that they were to keep private at all times and that they were to remove that disgusting thing by the time he comes back in the room. He left the room, and when he returned, the tampon had been removed, and the girls didn’t dare look at him because they finally realized that they had invited the boys into their privacy, which they should never have done. They made a private issue public. At what point do the adults grow up and realize what is private?
Jay I disagree with you too. You should not be in there even if they do not mind. Besides the privacy issue there are legal implications too. You could be setting yourself up for a huge lawsuit if any of those women decide to accuse you of anything. It doesn’t matter they lie either. Just being accused is enough. Get outta there!!
Are you saying you’re in there when they’re changing/nude? Bet not!
Dignity is the issue – the basic human right to (gender) privacy. Cultures vary but in the US we treat female gender privacy as critically important. Men’s gender privacy is lacking in sports locker rooms and prisons. High School, College, Pro, the locker room is a work place or an educational extracurricular place where their privacy is invaded, dignity degraded, and basic human rights violated when female reporters, interns, assistants, etc. enter. This is subsidizes sexual harassment in the work and educational place of boys and men. Time to take this back into the courts.
very good… dignity is the issue… I agree
“Gender privacy” is a complete paradox. I know perfectly that this is almost the world-standard but still I am unable to understand it. A race-based locker room is racial discrimination, but a gender-based locker room is not gender discrimination?! Under which reason/right a person, just because he/she is born with my same gender, is allowed to consider “his/her privacy” as part of “my privacy”?
Someone one time said that your freedom ends where my freedom begins. I have privacy when I can decide who to let into my privacy and, honestly, to be forced to share my privacy with totally unknown-random people about I’m only sure that they are not of the opposite gender (that, under some “universally accepted principle” would make it “a privacy violation”) is a totally sick idea of privacy.
People can be prude or not/confortable to be naked in front of others. I don’t judge. This is the reason because both private changing cabins (quiet common in my country, sometimes also with private shower) and common locker rooms exist. But the gender-based division of the latter is simply ridiculous.
Andrea,
I believe humans should control who sees them naked and who does not. I believe in personal change areas too. I would never undress with women not only because it makes me uncomfortable but because in my country (USA) women have more leverage when it comes to accusations of sexual inappropriateness (assault, rape molestation, etc.). There is a lot of money to be gained in lawsuits. I do not trust women in a situation where we are undressing together. False accusations are all they need to destroy a guy. On the other hand, women probably do not trust men either or do not feel safe being naked with men they do not know. The USA, as a whole, would have to experience some growth before locker rooms become unisex. Gender matters here very much. Im a guy and I do not like being naked with some guys, but oh well.
I agree. What is it so difficult for people, men and women alike, to respect men’s and boy’s privacy? It’s not a matter of being prude. It’s a matter of dignity, as you say.
Most women have been to a male doctor and been intimately examined and have been naked in front of a boyfriend or husband. Does that mean they shouldn’t complain if a male janitor invades their privacy in the women’s room?
Women have no idea how easy their lives are. They don’t have to fight for basic things such as privacy. It’s just given to them with no questions asked. We would like to have a say in the matter of male privacy. Our body, our choice. If we dare to speak up, not only do we not get anywhere, we are laughed to scorn.
Men don’t get no respect, where as women get all the respect in the world. Dignity is the issue, the basic human right of men is getting violated, for no other reason but for the fact that their male. Men are second class citizens in this country and they are treated as such. Men don’t have the right to look at naked women without their permission, nether do they have the right to tell a woman to not or to stop looking at their naked bodies. Men is brain wash into thinking that they shouldn’t have the right to privacy or that it’s ain’t manly to speak up when their privacy is getting invaded. We live in a society where clothed women are able to walk in the locker rooms of naked men, and then sue the men for sexual harassment if they think someone said or even looked at them wrong. Years back schools and YMCA’S use to make men and boys swim naked, but women and girls had the right to wear their swimming suit. I here to say that it’s not ok for men to be disrespected, we deserved the same respect as they give women.
Well said, Willie.
And the idea the women are always afraid of being raped by men is bogus. If that were true, no woman in her right mind would walk into a room full of naked men alone. The issue is privacy. Women want it for themselves but refuse to respect ours.
You males do not want to be seen naked, less so by ladies.How do you have sex with a woman? Fully dressed and opening only your pants zip?
Has very little to actually do with nudity, and a great deal to do with human rights and respect.
Its about being seen naked at times that the male finds appropriate for him, not by force or someone elses dictate. Respect, as we grant to women, with full consent in all things having to do with sex and nudity.
Certainly something we should be teaching our boys as well as our girls.
In Chile we males swim naked in pools and are naked in comunal showers.Sometimes ladies in bathing suits invade our pools and premises, but we are accustomed to that;we laugh a lot.Only teenagers get boners sometimes, and no big deal:quite normal.
Checked with the men on a crew working with us right now, who are from such places as Chile, Ecuador etc. None have had, or know of this type of experience where naked men are “invaded” by women in bathing suites.
From a European perspective it all seems utterly paranoid. Here in Finland, women are almost always the attendants in the showers/changing rooms of pools and saunas, and none of the males, of any age, feel ‘disrepected’. Just yesterday I was in the changing room as a group of school boys (about 15 years old) were coming out – their swim teacher, a young woman, came in to give them some information, and also to collect their used towels (supplied by the school). Those boys were all naked straight from the shower, but nobody felt awkward, neither the teacher, nor the good-looking boys, nor the spotty boy, nor the big fat boy. People here are not taught to be ashamed of their bodies. What seems so sad to me is the body-shame that current Anglo-American attitudes instill in your youngsters.
Yes indeed. Being and American raised partially in Europe (Netherlands) At the ripe old age of 8 till 13 I , my parents,and my little brother went to the local Sauna called Soesterberg Naaturebad. It didn’t take long to lose the awkward self conscious embarrassment of being nude not only in public , also in mixed company of all ages including my own . It was an experience to be sure. Having been taught that kind of thing was Wrong, Bad, Deviant, All my life. Well my parents learned “When in Rome ETC” Thank God they did while I was young. I wasn’t thinking of nudity in a sexual way yet. In the 3rd grade? not an issue. I made the adjustment easily. And I think having a relaxed attitude towards nudity makes me mentally healthier. I find it comical having been in situations here in America where a group gets naked IE: Naked pool party. All the giggling and such from folks kind of muscling their way through the experience. Saying to themselves how adult they are. How mature they are. We North Americans are truly repressed and backwards. Socially speaking.
Sounds a bit like a dear Penthouse letter, Yannick.
Such practice does not exist in Finland. Even Saunas are typically segregated by gender, and they are only now grappling with how to employ gender neutral, private use bathrooms in schools. No adult female teacher would be allowed in a locker room full of naked, under-aged boys.
The one glaring issue that does exist with women in Finland is that although they demand and expect equality, it is still men usually roped into traditional dating practices such as paying for dates, being forced into military service while women can volunteer or not. Tends to define “equality” from a female perspective, no?
I’ll try again.
I’m not sure where you got that, Yannick, but it is not true.
In Finland, even the sauna’s are gender segregated as a norm. Those that are not are noted as such because they are not the norm. Only exception are family saunas.
There are no women attendants in men’s bathrooms, or anything else as a matter of norm either. No female teacher would be allowed into a locker room of underage, naked boys.
What seems sad to me is your apparent need to make up fantasies thinking other readers will be amazed and titillated by them. People in Finland may well be more Ok with nudity, but this is BS, and everyone knows it.
I’m living in Europe, but not in Germany. However, the management from the local swim pool must have had a few visits to Germany. They have build a mixed gender locker room which all people can use. Most people still use the the mens or ladies, but sometimes this mixed gender locker room can be well visited and while naked you better not be too shy.
Everyone using any of the few showers have a clear view of all the others. It could very well happen that while you shower suddenly in walks a family wife/husband/children all naked into the showers in front of you. Can of course also be any other combination of people. Couples, mother/child, father/child, girlfriends, single men etc, etc…
WOMEN ARE SELFISH!
THEY WANT EVERYTHING THEIR WAY!
WOMEN ARE NOTHING BUT “CONTROL FREAKS”!
AND THESE WERE SPANISH MEN!!!
What do you think Spanish men are? Spanish men can be lovers, willing to hook girls … but, in general, highly respectful towards women.
May be you do not undertand what a “compliment” to woman is, nor how she receives it… if you come from a different culture. Practically no Spanish, or Italian woman undertands a compliment as harrassment.
Check it: In Spain, as in other European latin countries there are quite quite less rapes or sexual harrassment than in anglosaxon countries. Do you know why? Because men respect women!
Yes, you can be naked when a women enters in the same room and you do not go with your “thing” up for her. You respect her while she is working (usually a badly paid and not nice job). If you have some friendship with her, you can talk or joke, but no more.
Obviously, nasty guys do exist… but that is the exception, not the rule. They are nasty with janitors, as they are with the taxi driver or the doorman.
This was a necessary post. Keep it alive.